Do you speak American?

I recently was browsing in a bookstore and found a book called "Do you Speak American?" by Robert MacNeil (I think). It was interesting in it's discussion of accents and dialects. But that's not really the point. I spent the evening with a couple friends and we were discussing communication issues especially those with other Americans. They can be quite funny.

Tonight I called my favorite Chinese Restaurant. I asked what size soups I could get to go. "We have only one size" she said.

"How many people will it feed?"

"That depends on how much you eat." (Okay, that's fair)

"I'll take an order of Hot and Sour Soup."

"You want small or large?"

Now I'm thinking, how do I have only one size if I can pick between small and large? I still haven't figured that one out.

Then while hanging out my friend asked if I knew the name of a mutual friend's baby. "No" I replied.

"It's really cool" she said

"So what is it?"

"I don't know"

How does that work? hmmmmmmmm