May 20, 2005

She asked What?!?!?!

Okay, so I thought a lot about this post and decided not to post it.... Then I talked to a friend and discovered that apparently this isn't that unusual of a question - which makes me feel even more foolish for misunderstanding it, but I'll let you laugh at me, since apparently other people wouldn't have been quite so confused.

A few weeks ago, I drove down to Murfreesboro, TN - just East of Nashville - to see some of the dearest people. My friend Jenn and I spent most of the weekend just relaxing and doing absolutely nothing - which is exactly the type of vacation I needed. Saturday evening the kids were upstairs watching a movie with their Daddy and Jenn and I were watching a movie downstairs, when we started discussing all the people who were getting married, were married or had just gotten engaged. This year has been Episode 2 of "It Must be in the Water" - because I'm pretty sure that of the people I knew in college and high school maybe 3 or 4 will survive the summer unmarried and unengaged. Everyone else will have fallen victim to, well - coupledom. Oh well.

Back to my story.... So Jenn and I were talking about all the weddings and such when she looked up at me and asked "Who's going to marry you, Tamara?" This is a question I expect from Grandparents, Aunts, uncles, cousins, anyone who hasn't given up on seeing me married - which actually isn't that many people anymore, so I don't hear it that often. It used to be the second thing family asked. "Hi Tamara, How have you been? Do you have a boyfriend?" Then around my 19th or 20th birthday it became, "Don't you have a boyfriend, yet? (asked with a certain amount of exasperation). Next was "Still thinking about getting married someday? A boyfriend would really be a good start." (This was followed by extremely less than desirable suggestions and attempts to set me up with people I wouldn't really wish on my enemies - Trust me when I say if the guy's cousin thinks its a bad idea to set him up with someone who is sane - just don't do it). Now there is simply that awkward silence following "how are you?" as my family tries to decide what to ask next. They've definitely given it up. Which is happy.... But I digress

"Who's going to Marry You?" If it wasn't Jenn, I'm sure I would have been offended. I mean come on, I'm 25 and still single. We were just discussing how everyone, their brother, sister, and uncle's third cousin's sister's friend are getting married. What kind of question is that? Clearly I don't know. If I did, I'd probably have a ring on my finger (since that and a wedding ceremony are probably the two most concrete answers to that question).

Now I'm in a dilemma. How do I answer. Do I get defensive? I'm not only okay with being single, in fact, I enjoy it. God has given me such a blessing in my singleness to be able to serve Him and be flexible with my entire life. It makes living at the "Whim of God" a whole lot easier. So what do I say? OH no! Major inward struggle for all of 5-10 seconds.

I decide to try to laugh it off "Well, Jenn when I find that out, I'll invite you to the wedding." And then I'm sure I probably babbled, because that's what I do when I get a little flustered. She started laughing. Now I'm confused. What's so funny? It's an honest answer. What did I miss?

I must have had the most perplexed look on my face, because between bursts of laughter she explained, that all she wanted to know was who - i.e. what pastor - would perform the wedding ceremony. Oh. Now don't I feel foolish. But I bet all of you knew all along that was exactly what she was asking. But me? No way, I totally misinterpreted the question. So what was there to do but laugh also, (In my defense her tonal inflections definitely added to my misinterpreting the question) and say - "I don't really know." I guess part of that depends on who my pastor is at the time and part depends on Matthew and Jennifer. (Jenn's husband (Matthew) was my college pastor - hence the motivation for the question).

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